My therapist told me yesterday that I graduated. I no longer need to see her regularly. I am sure there will be sometime down the road when I will. I will watch something on TV or a Movie that will trigger a PTSD response. But I have learned how to go with it and know I'll make it through it.

I just ran in to JM. We showed up at the drugstore door at the same moment. I greeted him and opened the door for him. He is feeble and wasn’t making a lot of sense. But we stood and talked for a few minutes and wished each other well.

I think that is behind me. PTL

I’m not saying I won’t have another PTSD episode. But God is good and I feel that I have traveled a long healing journey.

My hope and prayer is that this has been helpful to you. Remember, God is good and He will help you to overcome.

I found a devotional on this topic by InterVarsity Press:

Psalm 10: A Prayer of Helplessness

Helplessness. It is an experience shared by everyone. There is no way out. There are no alternatives. It is an experience full of fear, rage and despair. Because our culture places such a high value on individualism and self-reliance, the experience of helplessness is full of shame for us. We expect that others will blame us for letting it happen. And we end up blaming ourselves. In times of helplessness, however, shame and blame are not helpful. What might be helpful is to know that God understands helplessness and that he hears our prayers.

Part of dealing with PTSD is knowing what to stay away from, certain movies and tv shows that bring up the memories, When I went to see Captain Phillips, I balled up in a fetal position and ran from the movie in tears. The main character was in a helpless situation like I was as a child and an adult. I couldn't sit and watch it. I was watching a tv show the other day and it ended with the main character being a victim of child abuse. I never knew the show was going there. Sometimes it can't be helped. But my therapist told me not to see "12 years a slave." so I didn't. Find out as much as you can before you see a program that is going to affect you.

Had surgery last week. Had a Spinal Cord Stimulator implant. Sends an electric current to brain instead of pain. I told my 21 year old son I was like the "Bionic Man." He said "Who's that?" I said "The Six-Million Dollar Man." He said "Who's that?" I said "Lee Majors." He said "Who's that?" I gave up! Generation gap. Then I see him watching a movie. A Disney "Tarzan" movie. Animated. I asked what he was watching. He said "You've never seen Tarzan?" I said "Not the cartoon." He said "They have Tarzan movies that aren't cartoons?" I said "about 20." I was going to mention Johnny Weissmuller, but knew it was no use.

MISTAKES
by Reece B. Sherman

Everyone will mess up sometimes
We will all make a wrong move
None of us is perfect
That is easy to prove

Even when we try our best
We don't always get it right
Some of our mistakes are private
Some are in plain sight

So when you make a mistake
Please do not lose heart
Just try to put it behind you
Move on and have a new start

It may be difficult
Especially when we hurt another
Even if someone expects us to be perfect
If you try to pass that test don't even bother

So just do your best
In everything you do
This is all people actually
Should expect from you

A lot has happened since my last post (I will try to post more often). We've moved into a townhouse..."empty-nest" and loving it. I am having a Spinal Cord Stimulator placed in my spine within the next week or so. I went through a week-long trial and was amazed at the difference it made. I have made several New Year's resolutions. So far...so good. Still struggle with depression, PTSD. Still seeing my therapist monthly.

Three Significant Prayers for the New Year
1. Search Me - Psalm 139:23-24
2. Stretch Me - John 3 - Nicodemus
3. Send Me - Isaiah 6:1-8
And during the New Year may you have: 
enough happiness to keep you sweet - enough trials to keep you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human - enough hope to keep you happy, enough failure to keep you humble - enough success to keep you eager, enough friends to give you comfort - enough wealth to meet your needs, enough enthusiasm to make you look forward to tomorrow, & enough determination to make each day better than the day before.
Lord, please help us to use the 8,760 hours of this year the wisest way we can for you, & for your glory.

These are not only significant prayers, they are dangerous prayers.

A Reliable Person/Keeping Promises

-          A reliable person has a track record of keeping promises. An unreliable person shows he or she doesn't really care about others. They only care about themselves and their own agenda. Even if their promises caused someone to make a major career move or a major upheaval, they simply don’t give it a second thought.

-          I’ve had relationships where it has happened, we all have. Mine came in the form of changing jobs, to what I was told was a better situation. I had to move my family to a different city, different schools. In the midst of the move, our 4-yr old son called me into his room. He said, “You all can go, but I’m staying here.” I should have learned from my child’s wisdom. But instead, I was drawn to “bigger and better opportunities.” The problem was this, I knew the man making the promises. I knew the way he worked. I knew how he treated those around him, although he and I had never had problems…yet. But the lure of greater opportunities, more money (isn’t that always the main motivation?), and a better life for my family.

-          Then it all came crashing down. Within 2 years my job description changed. Then I wasn’t meeting “his” expectations. Although I was meeting everyone else’s. In fact, my actual job and performance couldn’t have been better. I was getting many accolades. I was getting major raises. My performance evaluations were on target. But that wasn’t enough. My job description changed five times in seven years, until I was given a job description that was impossible to fulfill. No one could do what I was asked to do, not even Superman. So I was tossed away without a second thought.

-          Here was a man who simply didn’t care what he did to others, what promises he made. I should have known better. I should have been watching my back. I should have listened to other people’s warnings. But I put my trust, my livelihood, my family, and my career that I had spent thirty years building into the hands of one who was unreliable, one who should never had been trusted.

-          My problem was that I tried to see the best in people. If there is one thing it has taught me, and it has taught me many things, it is that there is no better person than one who is trustworthy and reliable. And there is no worse person than someone who isn’t.

-          We need to be more reliable. Even if we don’t make promises, we should try to live up to the best of people’s expectations.

Kindness & Semi-Retired

8/20/14

I went to see the movie “Expendables 3” with Ben last night. Another good vs. evil flick. The good guys won, of course.

Being disabled is still taking some getting used to. Anne wants me to tell people that I am “semi-retired.” Sounds better, I guess. And, I guess, in a way, it is true. I preach on the weekends and write during the week. A few weeks ago I decided to spend at least ½ day at the church office studying. It brings a little normalcy to my schedule.

We are in the process of moving. We are doing the “empty nest” backwards. The kids won’t move out so we will. Alex did finally find an apartment, but Ben will stay here in the basement at Jean’s until he finds a place. We are only moving down the street, but I will be without transportation. I will take Anne to work on some days when i need the car for a doctor’s appointment or something. We are only 8/10 of a mile from the library. So I will be within walking distance to most places. the only problem is that I will be walking uphill on the way home. I want to get a Scooter, but the boys think I will kill myself with my eyesight being as bad as it is. I tell everyone that I am fine for 30 minutes, then my eyes twist and cross. Actually, if I’ve used them alot before I drive, they go crazy when I first get in the car. Since finishing VerseryRhymes I have begun writing a novel. You know, your good guy vs bad guy kind. I don’t know the ending, but I can assure you the good guys will win.

I preached a sermon a few weeks ago on “Living the Fruit of the Spirit: Kindness.” I wrote a poem on “Being Kind.”

Being Kind

The world needs to see more kindness

People need to feel that gentle touch

But there is anger, impatience and divisiveness

But Kindness...not so much

The people around you need to know

That they matter and have worth

They need to know they are loved by God and you

But it seems that of true kindness there is a dearth

When you see people on the street or at the market

And you share a smile with them

It can melt many days of pain

And brighten their hearts like a precious gem

When you encounter people through the week

And you leave them with a kind word

Their hearts will truly soar

Like a strong majestic bird

Even if someone has done you wrong

God commands that you be kind

It is a fruit of the Spirit

See, it is one of the nine

So every morning pack your bag

Fill it with kind words, and looks and deeds

So that everywhere you go

You can be planting kindness seeds